What if I told you that your thoughts and beliefs are actually what’s holding you back in many areas of your business? See, what you think determines how you feel and then how you show up in your business every day.
Today I’m chatting with Becky Hoschek. She’s a life coach for ambitious women doing all the things: marriage, motherhood, business and more. And, she’s helping us identify where our beliefs are keeping our businesses stuck. When we can identify these beliefs and consciously choose new thoughts, we can create the business we’re dreaming about.
Tune in to hear what these 5 beliefs are AND alternative thoughts you can try on instead!
LISTEN TO THIS EPISODE NOW:
Listen & subscribe on your favorite platform: Apple Podcasts | Stitcher | Google Play | Spotify | iHeartRadio
Search for episode 65!
How are thoughts and beliefs connected?
As an entrepreneur, especially in the beginning stages, you are the business! Thoughts and beliefs are everything. There really aren’t any boundaries between your personal life and your business life when you are making it work on your own. Becky says that as a life coach, she loves to teach her clients about the POWER OF THOUGHTS.
When you start looking at how the brain works, our thinking is critical to why we feel what we feel and why we do what we do. Thoughts are just sentences in your brain. A lot of times, people think that thoughts are just something that happens to them but the reality is that we have a lot more control over them than we think.
Beliefs are thoughts you’ve practiced over and over. Our brain loves repetition and when you repeat something enough, it becomes really concrete. BUT just because you believe it doesn’t mean it’s actually true.
Becky and I talk about how our thoughts create our feelings. Always. We tend to believe things in our lives to be true and factual that are actually just thoughts. We also talk about the thought model that says circumstances trigger thoughts that create feelings that create actions that equal results.
From this, thoughts that are repeated over and over again become beliefs.
Becky tells us that a lot of times when people want to make changes in their life they tend to default to actions like “What do I need to do differently to make this change?” This might work for a little while but will eventually burn you out because you aren't actually getting to the root of the problem. Since our thoughts inform our feelings and our feelings inform what we do or don’t do, it is so critical to understand the power that your thoughts really have!
The 5 beliefs that are keeping you stuck:
1. “I don’t know.”
Becky tells us that on a macro level or the “big picture” of your life and business, this is believing things like, “I don’t know what to do” and “I don’t know HOW to do it”. We get stuck when we let that keep us there and not take any action. Thinking “I don’t know…” feels really safe to your brain because it means you don’t have to do something new.
On a micro level or “in the moment”, this might show up when you are getting up in the morning and saying to yourself “I don’t know what to do first today” or “I don’t know what to do next today.” If you have too many options then you might get overwhelmed and your brain can’t take action from a place of overwhelm. So instead of making any progress by picking one thing, you might just stay stuck in all your options.
This is a problem because the thought “I don’t know” creates feelings of confusion and overwhelm. Becky calls these indulgent emotions which don’t serve us well at all. Feelings drive action and the feeling of confusion or overwhelm drive inaction. Inaction is a big problem for business owners! Listen to the full episode to hear Becky give a great example of this!
Thoughts to try on instead:
Becky gives us a great idea for trying to shift our thoughts by “trying them on”. Whatever feels true and believable is what really matters.
- I’m learning how to .
- I’m figuring out how to .
- My next right step is .
Ask yourself this question, “But what if I did know? What would I do?” This really works! Our brain wants to solve problems. If we ask it questions, it will look for the answers because it doesn’t like not knowing. By reframing the thought and asking “But what if I did know?” you’re opening the door for your brain to offer solutions in a way that feels safe and less risky because of the “What if?” part.
You can also ask yourself, “What would the me on the other side of this tell me to do? What would she say?” You can borrow from the wisdom of your future self, even though that sounds a little strange. If you want to learn more about connecting with your future self, check out Turning 27 Years Old And Letters From My Future Self!
2. "This isn't working."
Maybe it is your business as a whole or a specific offer, marketing activity, employee relationship that you are telling yourself “Isn’t working”.
Becky tells us that this is a huge problem because it transfers responsibility to something (or someone) outside of your control. “This business isn’t working” blames the business and creates a victim mentality. When we blame something outside of ourselves, we hand over our power to do anything about it.
How do we get this power back? By choosing our thoughts!
Thoughts to try on instead:
- It’s interesting that .
Get REALLY specific about the factual circumstances of what “isn’t working”. When we approach the facts from a place of curiosity, we take our power back and are driven to take action to make a change or resolve it. Becky says that business is the combination of numbers and thought drama. There are facts and true numbers and then there are all the things that our thoughts make them mean (which might not be true).
3. "I don't have enough time."
Becky says that a lot of people believe this is a fact. It is not. Everyone has the same 24 hours in a day. If you aren’t getting something done that you want to get done, that is a matter of priorities not needing more time.
Listen to Becky give some great examples in the full episode!
People get stuck here because they just believe it to be true that they need more time in their day and they are blaming their inaction on something outside of their control and that helps them avoid responsibility.
Thoughts to try on instead:
- I get to steward my time. (You can reframe any thought from “I have to” to “I get to” and this is a better use of your thought energy and gives you the control back.)
- I have the same 24 hours each day that everyone else does.
- There is always enough time for the things I need time for. “I have exactly as much time as I need to do .”
- I get to choose how to spend my time.
4. "I'm just a ."
Do you catch yourself saying things like, “I’m just a writer”, “I’m just a mom”, “It’s just a little thing I started.” Using the word “just” minimizes and downplays whatever you are talking about. Beliefs like this lead us to avoid growth, resist our callings, and set low levels of aspiration.
Why do we do this? Becky tells us that these thoughts are rooted in fear and Insecurity. When we play small and minimize our ambitions, we stay in our comfort zone. The brain views new things as risky and to be feared. Above all else, the primitive part of our brain wants us to be safe and comfortable.
If we don’t adjust this thinking, we’ll stay right where we are and won’t see what’s possible. We won’t see what we’re capable of or show up as we were created to. We won’t contribute to the world and the lives of others as only we can. AND we’ll be uncomfortable either way.
Thoughts to try on instead:
- Say the same thought without the word “just”.
- Practicing this thought, repeating it, and believing it will create a feeling of confidence.
5. "I can't say no."
Sometimes saying no is really hard. Becky gives some great examples in the full episode as she talks with us about why we have a hard time saying no.
We have a hard time saying no because we fear missing out on potential business opportunities or missing out on clients. We also do this because of people-pleasing syndrome. We think that by saying yes to someone, we will be able to influence what they think about us.
This is a huge problem because when we say yes out of fear or obligation, we end up feeling resentful. We use time and energy on things that aren’t in alignment with our priorities, and we end up feeling frustrated. We overcommit, which creates overwhelm. Ultimately, we end up not serving ourselves or the client well because of the resentment.
When we realize we can’t manipulate how other people feel about us by saying yes to them, we end up frustrated with ourselves. We live out of alignment with our priorities.
Thoughts to try on instead:
- Is this the best use of my time and energy right now?
- By saying yes, what will I be saying no to?
- Why do I feel called to say yes?
Warren Buffet said, “The difference between successful people and really successful people is really successful people say no to almost everything.” Saying no is really important. You can say yes or no as you please, but you want to make sure you like your reason. If you want to learn more about saying no without feeling guilty, check out this episode on Becky’s podcast!
I hope you guys learned so much here from Becky! Make sure to listen to the full episode and start reframing your thoughts and beliefs so you won’t stay stuck and can grow so much personally and in your business.
About Becky:
Becky Hoschek is a life coach for ambitious women doing all the things: marriage, motherhood, business, and more.
Through private 1:1 coaching and her podcast, Beyond Happy, Becky helps women get unstuck and create lives that feel as good on the inside as they look on the outside.
Becky applies psychology, mindset, and faith to the big things in life, the little, everyday things, and everything in between. By focusing on thought work and mindset, she helps clients feel better for good.
Prior to launching her coaching practice, she served clients for 15 years as a copywriter, designer, and marketing consultant for major brands such as Better Homes and Gardens and small creative businesses. She also owned a family photography business for a decade.
Becky lives in Bloomington, Illinois, where she works from home and lives with her husband and three kids.
Links Mentioned:
Listen to the Breakthrough Brand Podcast
Connect with Elizabeth on Instagram
Connect with Becky on her website
Connect with Becky on Instagram
Connect with Becky on Facebook
Connect with Becky on Beyond Happy
Turning 27 Years Old And Letters From My Future Self
Saying No (Without Feeling Guilty)
Presence: Bringing Your Boldest Self to Your Biggest Challenges by Amy Cuddy
May 5, 2020
read comments or leave a comment...